don't worry, i already broke the ice when i told the story about how i super glued a picture of big bird to my vag.
Eating hibachi. The chef is squirting sake into my mouth with a ketchup bottle. Happened twice, more to come.
he started fingering my stomach rolls instead of my vag... am i really that fat?
Blonde 1 is sitting on the floor crying and blonde 2 is asleep with her face in the toilet. This isn't what I had in mind when they asked me back
i just added your friend Valery on the FB just to comment on your tits.... thought id give you a heads up
You wouldn't know anything about the tooth on ice in my freezer would you?
He kept moaning America instead of Erica while fucking me.
This morning two of his housemate threw confetti over me, started singing and handed me a make shift trophy out of cereal boxes and beer cans that said 'Harry's Virginity' on it. Fucking brilliant!
I can't wait for paintbang. I'm going to throw a marker at a child. There will be bail money in my backpack in m trunk. Don't use it on beer.
You stole my camera, took a picture of yourself and said "that's beautiful, just as beautiful as our waitress".
He was kissing me at red light while his penis was in an aluminum beer bottle peeing..
I'm sending midget strippers dressed as bull fighters with mini bottles of 1800 to your house. Already made the call. Jer is going halves on it. Can't be stopped! Won't be stopped!
I wish you could see all the crumbs in my bra....it looks like Hansel & Gretel got lost in my cleavage.
there is puke in my bra ... again
The ass gains better be worth it
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