I am currently prioritizing my hw by splitting into things i can and things i cant do drunk. Oh college
I'M GETTING MARRIED!
YOU'RE STILL MARRIED!
woke up rolled in a yoga mat listening to enya. I'm never going back to Oregon ever again.
New handbag passed the ultimate test. The walk of shame. I had a bra, tights, skirt, shirt & sweater in it and you couldn't tell. yessss.
All I'm saying is that whoever owned the wheelchair clearly didn't need it or they wouldn't have been able to leave it there
Just realized the guy is in my class. Unless there's another guy that had half his ear bit off at a St. Patty's party
He paid me to blow him while doing a handstand. Does that make me a whore or just a budding gymnast?
Apparently I whispered "Jesus was here" and bailed out of the moving taxi.
i think i have weasels eating my brain. Also there is a skeleton staring at me from the back of the bathroom door. it's an awkward vomit. come find me please
She's currently upstairs fucking her boyfriend while I am downstairs making them a sex playlist watching her boyfriend's Weiner dog and large Boxer try and mount each other. Marvin Gaye is playing. This is the ultimate third wheel fail.
Blacked out last night, but left myself a note that said "oops on oops on oops" that can never be a positive
I shit myself. Legit. And I burnt my tongue. Unrelated incidents, but related in the sense of general discomfort.
I'm eating Swedish fish out of my boobs and watching SOA.. There is no way your Tuesday night will be better than mine.
wow bdsm is so cute
You went outside, peed in the front yard, and asked me to bring you some toilet paper.
Randomize
