Oh man dude like 1000 to 1500 milligrams. Its gonna burn like bad though.
dude your alot more fun to hang out around now that your addicted to coke...but seriously you need to stop
Hey I found a place that'll do a hand job for 42 bucks
i just snorted my name. best moment ever
I don't remember what happened but judging from the contents of my pockets it had something to do with potatoes and glo in the dark condoms
there is an extreme lack of margarita in my mouth.
Thanks, college. Tonight's decisions brought to you by margs in a nalgene.
woke up outside on the porch naked surrounded by beer cans with a towl around my neck. i must be in heaven cause i've never seen this place before.
She's doing hand stands on the train as I type. Idk if I'm impressed it embarrassed. Or turned on.
I'm expecting you to come by soon and a magical night of sex and floating on clouds to follow.
As part of the off-hours team building exercises, I had my new coworkers figure out to push me back to the hotel from the nearby bars in a shopping cart every night for a week.
How do I go about this? "Hey, its my birthday in 40 minutes. Would you like to come over for some sex? Also, please bring snacks"?
Dude he's moving to fucking Germany now. What is it about your vagina that makes men want to flee the continent?
I think I sent pictures of my boobs to an Olympic athlete...
I'm not drinking for the rest of the week. I need discipline, celery, dick, and a bible.
Randomize
