Wow, your whole life is a joke regardless of the fact that its april fools day
you only had a canadian ten, but you said it was all good cuz you would just by molson.
Dude, we totally smoked up inside a church organ last night. Add this to the epic list.
dude, i have to cancel tonight, my neighbor just bought a goat
I woke up with my bra stapled to the ceiling, her dad was in the hallway winking at me. I was the less drunk of the bunch.
I think it's a friendship ring and the other part is on his cats collar
First day of class and I'm in a bar drinking pitcher #3. Foreshadowing?
all a girl really needs is a few good pair of leggings and a drug dealer that delivers.
Someone has big plans this weekend. Just went to throw away the trash and saw packaging for 3 different vibrators on the top of the stack
And now you know why we call him Three-Balls Brad
And that is why I love you so much. You have the same cold black heart as me.
Well, I currently have zero fuckboys and my vibrator just broke. A fresh start to May.
I'm not in bed, I'm driving and puking at the same time.... first for everything
My prof handed me back my essay on Lesbians in literature, gave me an A and then we had sex in her office. Told you she was gay.
You were so drunk last night that you fell thru the bathroom door at the bar, ripping it off the hinges in the process. But, your birthday tiara stayed on thru the whole thing. I'd call it a succcessful evening. Happy birthday kiddo!
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