You're going to have to start masturbating with your left hand. Or with someone's vagina
If I had a penis, I would stick it EVERYWHERE. I don't know what these guys are doing.
do you think the bartender judged us for asking for shots of well vodka and water chasers?
Somehow I don't trust you in this state to talk to you about a colonoscopy
Not to make her into that kind of girl, but she did have a condom mural
No need to get angry I'm just tryin to get my door back
I just told a kid I was in a wheelchair because Santa shot me due to me being on the naughty list. You should have seen this little bastards face
And on the seventh day, God carefully sculpted your cock to fit perfectly into my masterpiece of a vagina. Then he rested. Look it up.
tried to out drink an american air force weapons loader. never again
My goal this weekend is to get a number that goes with the penis I take him.
Aspirations
Just saw a woman trying to order Mcdonalds at a trash can. God bless America.
im trying to look as sober as possible but i just poured orange juice and mayo into my milkshake.
You know, this is NOT how I pictured my life would be when I was younger, and yet here we are.
I either have food poisoning or I'm pregnant. Either way, I NEED JESUS!
And tell your penis that we can hang out tonight for sure.
Randomize
