Woke up in a pool of alcohol sweat. Probably could wring out my sheets and make a decent cocktail.
I feel like one of those toads that you lick to get high or find a prince.... cept when you lick me you find a drunk whore.
I wonder if all of the nights I blacked out will be revealed to me when I die. Have you ever thought about that?
there is cereal in my wallet where all the cash used to be.
2 am we went back to his house. his mom handed us beers and cooked us pancakes. the next morning his dad had washed my car. i lied. living at home after college definitely does not suck.
So..I walked into his bathroom and found a bong and a blender in the shower.....normal?
You should see the damage i did to the apartment last night. So many broken things and butter sticks stuck to windows.No memorys
I'm gonna let my dick speak for itself from now on. Seriously, it's always recruiting for me even after 6 hours of drinking.
I'm doing blow on my fuzzy rug
Come join me
Yeah i was handcuffed to the bed all night but i actually slept like a baby
Doing the walk of shame at 1 AM. Stumbled across a rave. This night is epic.
Omphalophobia is a real thing. don't ever fucking touch my belly button again dude
eh, I feel I'm heading for a breakdown and I need to get it out of the way before I start writing that lab report.
he rolled over in the morning and told me happy valentines day. i don't even know his first name.
I'm just hitting the tip of the iceberg on accents for this trip...so basically my panties are done for.
I'm currently watching porn and playing beer pong with wine in the lobby of a hotel with a squadron of hot airforce guys. You can never say your life is better than mine again
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