My aunt just said- "pizza is like sex. Even if it ain't good it ain't bad." Obviously she doesn't know us too well.
he chased her out of the bar yelling "TAKE MY VIRGINITY" and i havent seen her since
We were doing it doggy style, and I puked on the floor and started crying, he told me it was okay his cat would eat it... and if it would make me feel better we could do anal...
And they lived happily ever after....
WHY WOULD YOU LET ME MAKE THAT MUCH NOISE DURING SEX IN RESIDENCE ?!
I tried to push your face into the pillow but then you kicked like a donkey.
I love tequila.
well tonys high enough to be moving from spot to spot around the kitchen shooting tortellini into a boiling pot and yelling "KING JAMES" whether he makes or misses it.
i just wanna lock my vagina in a safe filled with bandaids and healthy things
Woke up with 3 sports bras for underwear. Valiant effort drunk me.
gladiator or hannah montana?
This is why I never have to ask who you are when I get a new phone.
Did i mention i'm like the equivilent of a prepubescent boy suffering from preejaculacy? I just about creamed my pants when he grabbed my hand..
We dropped so many bottles they would only give us plastic cups. We actually drank ourselves back to preschool.
We'll just play it by vagina and see where it leads us
This is gonna be a long day for my vagina and I
If you can't drink with the big boys, give up your beer and go back to the playpen
WHY HAVE SO MANY THING GONE IN MY BUTT ON THIS TRIP
I dunno what to tell you sport. Short of having a shock collar on, you're gonna wanna hook up with people.
Randomize
