You're in luck. The brownies don't even have butter, just vege oil
Where were you when I was single???
Still in diapers.
There is no way he is gay with that hair.
You bet me 100 dollars that the Raiders would win the super bowl this year. I have it on tape.
This Casey James character from American Idol is really gonna mess up my sex life.
Or maybe the fact that you know who Casey James is will be what messes up your sex life.
No that's sign language, not a drinking game. I tried to join
I've always wanted to pass out in a bathtub
I think most people do. Your only real mistake was turning the water on first.
I think the fact that I shit my pants, threw away my underwear in a frat bathroom, lost my socks down a drain in the front yard and still got laid... deserves some sort of a victory drink for myself or a blowjob for him since he was such a good sport.
Please. I don't care how shitty his fake life story was. As horny as I was I just wanted the prettiest man possible in case I accidentally got pregnant. He had blue eyes.
I guess I can give it a shot. I usually just get belligerently drunk and go where my penis and feet lead me. No fights or getting too lost, so they seem to be doing a good job
He thought he was ordering for the whole party so when he came back with thirty burritos and four of us were left, he wasn't happy
What's the world record for number of orgasms reached on ones birthday? Asking for a friend.
I'm in the liquor store and fucking "Wannabe" by the Spice Girls is playing. IM ALREADY ASHAMED OF MY REASON FOR BEING HERE, GIVE ME A BREAK.
He unofficially told me he deleted his tinder because of me. I think that’s a pretty romantic gesture in 2018
Do you remember feeding the vacuum doritos last night?
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