Is it normal that I have to take off my pants to get mouth stitches removed?
dude just tell them you don't wear clothes. they'll understand
I'm going to go hang out on a giant wooden pirate ship for 5 days.
I had sex with billy mayes last night. HE KEPT IN CHARACTER THE WHOLE TIME.
it's amazing how much more room there is in my purse when I'm not carrying alcohol in it
can I come stay the night
yeah, but no sex tonight
I'll stay home
after he gave me a diploma for giving him amazing head, getting a regular diploma isnt all that cool.
It took me four clicks to get to 2009 on his profile. This can't work.
dude. this chick is staring at me like i gave her brother herpes.
We 6 way cheers-ed with French fries last night, hammered, in the booth.
I told him i turn boys gay hoping that would scare him off. Finally i found a way to take advantage of my disability.
My head is just one big fuzz right now.. Its like someone replaced my brain with a teddy bear
At least you didn't sleep with Ashley's uncle.
I'm taking the day off so I can get drunk at Whole Foods before noon
So hypothetically speaking.. say someone dropped their birth control pill in a hot bowl of soup, and it possibly disintegrated.. would it be just as useful?
Randomize
