Afterall, it is the real San Francisco treat
Whats the opposite of morning wood? Whatever its called, everyone saw it when it fell out.
Nights like last night are what makes cleaning up the vomit in the morning worth it
I like one night stands...theyre like crushes for big kids
I submitted an essay to my history teacher comparing changes in the middle ages to the song changes by David Bowie. I can't wait to see my grade on that.
How the fuck did I get small bruises all over my body?
Well you were laying on the couch naked after the girls left, staring into space, and I went over to the pool table and threw every ball as hard as I could at you from point blank range . You didn't flinch, blink, or scream for any of them. next time maybe you won't fuck my girl while I'm taking a shit
you yelled "who's job is it to keep me from breaking shit" and then immediately ripped off the molding as you fell down the stairs.
It was more like a tour de entire bottle of wine in 14 minutes
The funny thing is, we kinda did bring guys home cause you had a fort...
On a not really funny at all but kinda brighter note I've gotten really good at texting in hand cuffs
Did you know that if you chase vodka with cheap red wine it tastes exactly like college alcoholism?
pizza hut and my weed lady just showed up at the same time. I feel 22 again.
My dad told me I would need to be my mom's DD tonight. So, that's how my Easter weekend is going down.
Idk, but the girl in his story had really nice eyebrows and was singing The Climb. How about you CLIMB the fuck away from my man
FORGET THE EYEBROWS
i know were having a "heart to heart" right now, but does it make you feel uncomfortable that im sexting someone right now?
Randomize
