I am like the Mr. Miyagi of queefs.
I've grown up since last year. I don't give blow jobs as birthday presents anymore.
He said I taste like butterscotch, licked me, then I'm pretty sure he wet his pants. So no, I do not want to invite him over.
watching my parents drink 4 loko out of usf cups playing pool and rocking out to ACDC...
Can I come live with you?
They are baked and once again have spent the last 45 mins talking about opening up a world wide business called "pickle on a stick"
Apparently I fed my Plan B to my turtle last night.
the bride spent most of the night apologizing to people she had punched earlier.
You've eaten a Lean Pocket for every meal for at LEAST 3 days now. Get your life in line.
And the best part is that she's coming home to find that I completely shaved her dog.
I'm really sorry I gave you road head last night and made you drive over and break the sprinkler system.
My text message history should be ashamed of itself right now.
I'm pretty sure I have enough material at this point to start a blog called Guys I've Banged in Pictures together. Why does this keep happening to me!
We both know we're cheating on one another. But our side pieces aren't as kinky as us...so yeah, we're still together. This is a fucked up relationship.
EW HE LOOKS LIKE SOMEONE'S DAD
THIS FUCKNUGGET
DOES HE EVEN REALIZE HOW MANY INCREDIBLE INSULTS I'VE WASTED ON HIM
I'VE INSULTED THE EVERLOVING SHIT OUT OF HIM AND HE CAN'T EVEN APPRECIATE IT
THE HO
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