you fell asleep during kickboxing this morning
how does that even happen??
I'm glad girls dont get visible erections
But, it would have made life so much easier...
she said your name and I thought she was asking me to motorboat her. Best. Miscommunication.Ever.
I'm not sure which is worse. The fact that I slept with him last night, or the fact that you did too.
So I'm seriously debating forwarding these sexts to his horse faced new gf including the ones that say he still loves me... but I still need his check to clear... decisions decisions
We found a stripper pole in your closet. It seemed like a good idea. Alex will fix the hole in your wall. Sorry.
haha she has always seemed a little off. when i met her i was told she was the queen slut. and she had a crown on at the time. it seemed appropriate.
just remembered spooning on the cardboard and confessing to each other we had the spins.
This is the high leading the old right now
When I tell my children how I survived hurricane Sandy I'll probably leave out the threesome
She's high and running across rooftops. Yes we're going to end up in A&E again.
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
Just got to Evans to buy weed. His mom showed up unannounced. Now the three of us are chillen. Super.
You threw up in your own shoe then wore it home
Clearly I was drunk when I met them I gave them a muffin. But they sure remembered me
Randomize
