I'm lost and stupid without you.
Whats contracted in vegas does not stay in vegas....
Please stop trying to convince people that you're retarded and I suck your dick in the same conversation.
i got a mint flavored condom from wellness day...im kind of tempted to taste it
I woke up this morning with a hospital armband on containing all the information off my fake i.d. WTF did we do last night!?!?
we literally hit three floors of our apartment building searching for condoms. also got macaroni.
5am is far to early to be on jagerbomb number 6 right now
Yeah. I stopped her before she flashed the guy for a free slice of pizza. She called me a gentleman and then before I knew it she was in my bed.
Streaking across a girls college rugby game is probably the best, and most painful, decision I've ever made
I've already reverted to sweat pants. And lonely drinking.
He woke me up for a 10am bootycall. he was already drunk when he got here and when we were fucking, bagpipes started playing amazing grace outside of my window!! I love Boston on st. Patties day!!
A conundrum I think only you would understand: how to classily post "I need a ride to the liquor store" on one's Facebook wall?
Just reintroduced tequila back into my life...so that's happening
YAS SHES BACK AND BETTER THAN EVER
Look, all I'm looking for is a good time and someone whose chest I can bury my face in
It started getting weird when you decided to scold my vagina.
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