Dude, don't freak out but the girl who stuck the hair brush in her ass is here. I can't look her in the eye!!
I like bacon cheeseburgers and the pussycat dolls
Does that mean you want me to loosen up your buttons at carls jr?
And God said, "Let there be Twilight," and it was so.
I should injure you considerably.
i didnt know what to say other then wrong hole.....after that the moment was ruined.
I guess you don't remember pouring tequila in the dog bowl and slurping it.
Not even desperate vagina wants small cock.
Glad to hear you raised your standards
That big chick who gave you the handly polished off one of the walls to the ginger bread house right before she came outside. FYI
While running home from the bar in high heels I multi- tasked and sexted with Brent. Jesus.
I'm sad we weren't friends when I went through my "I like drugging my friends" phase
I'm ok. I've got the pantsless-with-dignity thing down pat
Spent 20mins wondering why my roommate wouldn't answer after we were pounding on the door.....Def went to the wrong building.
You called me into the kitchen so you could show me that you were peeing in the kitchen sink and then told me to leave bc you couldn't do it with me watching
Too bad, iambic pentameter is a drunk specialty of mine.
and you fell through a lawn chair
So.. I was kinda upset i got the bad fuck out of the situation
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