just threw up into the cup of Gatorade I was hoping would settle my stomach. thanks again, alcohol.
The girl behind me at the dollar store said couldn't wait to get her permit, then requested a pregnancy test. God I love being home.
afterwards we were spooning and he said he wished he was a kangaroo so he cold put me in his pouch and keep me forever. I left as soon as he was asleep.
I just had a dream where Bob Saget recognized me from when I hung out with him in a dream I had months ago.
so yeah i told her you were going to become a doctor and the first thing she said was "i still don't want to fuck him". i tried.
sorry he hasn't talked to me since the surprise salvia incident...
what's the name of that soccar player i bit again?
That is correct. I did in fact somehow pass out in the tanning booth for over an hour. And yes the attendant did have to open it up and shake me awake.
you got me arrested i just think that goes without question you owe me a blowjob
Fantastic. I'm pretty cold, tired, dirty, and hungry, but that comes with an adventurous weekend. Who needs a wallet or keys anyway? I could totally be homeless.
I just want to curl up with him and brush his hair and sing love songs together, I think you should come over and end this
He could have been a one armed faceless howler monkey. I was so slammered that I didn't care what I was having sex with or if whatever it was... was doing it right.
I kept on yelling at him to get his shit together as he was puking
I spilled wine on my pillowcase and I figure it's basically my lifeblood so I'm just leaving it
It's his. I know, I'm pregnant with a genetic douche bag but at least he'll be pretty!
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