Dude. Fucked her last night. Fucked her this morning. went downstairs for water. took 18 pack of Coors Light instead and took it back to my gf's. Got a blow job from her. Drinking the beer on my deck now. Best Day ever.
I just realize today that I've dated three guys this year with their own blog. Ugh that's embarrassing.
Were playing bathroom attendees at the party and making people wash their hands
i made a dollar
That bitch ruined vodka saturday
I just high fived you brother at the bar then immediately realized my hands smell like your vagina
just saw sorostitutes streaking near the university president's house. thank you tequila day
She can't meet us until 830...there's no hope for our sobriety at that hour
HOW IS IT EARTHLY POSSIBLE TO DO THAT MUCH DAMAGE WITH JUST MY THUMBS?? HOW???
please tell me we weren't that bad as freshmen
i can't, we're worse now
Well the other day she asked me how often I jerk off. So I guess things are getting semi-serious
Well I just finished dry heaving so I think breakfast is a little further out for me
starting to feel like a fuck wizard with a magical sixth sense for people fucking.
So i had a lucid dream about blowing myself. This is why people love me
Holy shit last night was like the irresponsible Olympics for me
IT'S MY BIRTHDAY. I SHOULDN'T HAVE TO DRIVE 3 HOURS FOR BIRTHDAY SEX.
Randomize
