So his roomate was eating breakfast when I was sneaking out. He's the guy I took home from jessicas wedding. I ended up eating coco puffs with him
Just another sign I need to get out of this town
So after i got done, she went over and got out her gecko, I felt like I was in an X rated geiko commercial.
what part of "i slept with our hot teacher" are you not excited about?!
the part where you beat me to him
fair enough.
My spanish isn't great but I'm pretty sure he was calling me a "little monkey" while I was blowing him
i just went 2 months without giving head... thats like two months without coffee. or two months without sun.
nope, if she's going to skank it up with ginge-a-saurus douche she deserves the silent treatment.
I slept through 4/20 and my roommates bought an entire ham that's just sitting in the fridge...
ever had the feeling "I've been drunk in this bathroom before?" Like De ja drunk?
He used the ring emoji and we've gone out four times. What is my life.
are you listening to the theme from Jurassic Park whilst pooping?
this is a PSA to never have sex in a bed from ikea
Dont worry, the Canadians are more afraid of you then you are of them.
Do you think he’ll fall in love with me if I tell him I have a nickname for his penis
You took a bite of the snack wrap put it down and fell asleep and when you woke up ten minutes later you asked how it got there, dipped it in soda ate it and fell back asleep.
Tequila. The ruiner of all good intentions.
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