Its not like he dircectly choose a cheeseburger over sex, it was more like I said seductively "I really appreciate this and I'm going to make it up to you anyway I can" and he replied "i want a bacon cheeseburger"
i guess he just knew i was going to sleep with him either way
You stood up and started yelling"Free blow jobs!" because you thought people would like you more.
I really hope I'm not the first person who's had to wash vomit off of cash and credit cards.
hes a good boy he deserves a good blow
He thinks that since we have been dating six months, that he can do the helicopter with his penis. Not okay.
I would never do this in real life. It's only college.
We're stealing the mannequin. He's my new swimming partner.
It looks like a tornado ripped through our living room and scattered clothes everywhere.
Count the bras. It was a category 3 whorenado ... I convinced the lesbians to come back to the apartment for a bottle of wine.
Im calling him
was mistake calling. If you drunk dial someone you deserve to choke on a tubesock. Take the advice. Always remember
No no don't get confused. We do chemistry homework on Thursdays. We screw on Fridays. Other than that, Words With Friends is our only communication five days a week. We are NOT dating.
MY roomie made me a chinese name- it's supposed to mean 'the girl of a thousand sins.'
There's a picture of you on facebook laying in the street with 3 cops standing over you after you faceplanted off that guy's shoulders.
Is that what happened to my face?!
I don't know if we can compare high school reunions anymore. The keg stands started before 7.
Well according to all the calls, texts, and Facebook messages, I threw up on you guys last night.
He told me that if he broke my bed my bed durring sex he would take me to ikea, but only on Monday because it's all you can eat meatballs. I think I'm in love.
Randomize
