She looks like Robin Williams dressed as a frog.
Then we started crawling around on the floor because we couldn't get up so decided to be tigers instead. Gotta love power hour.
fuck dude i blacked out on a tuesday. what am i doing with my life?
Winning.
im just gonna turn drinking alone on new years into a tradition
I have minimal recognition and a lot of burns on my tongue and my vagina hurts.
When are you comin back?
probably mid next week, depending on when i finish my remaining half gallons
just spent the last 4 hours covering his room in sticky notes. Viva Drunk Thursdays.
literally overdrew my bank account at 3 in the morning to eat subway with 7 sherriffs.
My pants are like a grocery bag containing ONLY jelly beans right now.
I burned myself with a joint twice in one sitting I have to say that's a new record for the least number of times I have hurt myself while smoking.
If all that ever happens between us is orgasms and dank memes, I think I'd be okay with that.
HOW THE FUCK IS IT POSSIBLE THAT THE JUNIOR HIGH STUDENT IS BETTER AT BEING AN ADULT THAN I AM!?!?
I'm eating animal crackers on my bed next to my vibrator writing about the hopelessness and depravity of humanity. I am LIVING.
we've dated a week and made out twice. he is taking it slow. but his body is stupid sexy. just want him to stop respecting me and fuck me like a gutter slut. respect me later im not getting younger.
I've realized that drinking at your apartment alone on a Tuesday probably isn't a good thing.
Randomize
