Definitely locked eyes with the stripper who gave me a lapdance last night as she walked by me and into the Ann Taylor Loft in Times Square.
She tased me when I walked in the door. Thought I was trying to steel her weed.
Currently flirting with a 57 year old. Why do i do this
His kisses tasted like beef jerky and captain morgan. I'm pretty sure I came before he even took my clothes off.
Dont forget the glove box taco bell stash i saved for drunk us.
I almost shit my pants in anger over your moral sanity.
I need to find more Xanax, my Grandpa doesent leave for another week and he's made it a mission to get me to come out of the closet as a xmas gift to my parents.
the bride at the wedding we just crashed said we can stay only if we strip for her. You need to get down here
How drunk is "too drunk" for candlelight service?
We need to talk about the sailor moon porn. Do what you want in your room, but I don't want to come home to you cranking it on the couch to that.
Are you okay?
I went home with a 38 year old guy in a kilt, do I look okay!
I might be offended if you don't bang me tomorrow. You know, for America.
He's driving 2 hours to visit me and he's bringing weed. I love him so much.
Blow Jobs and the Patriots Playing I think I’m going to marry her
Dude I had my dad cock block me once
Randomize
