why does my vagina smell like weed?
omg thats a great idea
time to smoke my breakfast
screw that ipod for my birthday.. i just want a weed brownie the size of my face. that's all.
so, the parking garage attendent caught us humping in the car. long story short, we have free parking whenever we want! take that abstinence.
And I was somehow convinced to wash the glassware at the bar topless.
Im going to buy a thermometer. If its above 104 im going to the hospital if its under 104 im going to the bar
He just referred to himself as a sharp shooter. I had sex with that.
I'd say I should re evaluate my life choices, but I'd make the same decisions only faster and wearing a push up bra.
Check out this gay circle: I've now hooked up with my ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend, and most recently my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend's ex-fling.
WHO INVENTED HANGOVERS WHERE ARE MY CLOTHES
I need a burrito and a hug.
Blacked out last night, but left myself a note that said "oops on oops on oops" that can never be a positive
Nothing says thanksgiving like acid flashbacks
Waiting on the notification from my fitness pal that tells me I'm an alcoholic
He told me I had smoking hot areolas then he wins an executive of the year award. How does that even happen?
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