When she gives birth, I'm so playing 'Eye of the Tiger'
They are baked and once again have spent the last 45 mins talking about opening up a world wide business called "pickle on a stick"
You NEED to fuck him he's a doctor with one leg. Are you kidding me right now. This will definitely make the list. Plus he buys all of us drinks.
i'm traumatized. his orgasm face consisted of him looking like my dead grandfather and burping.
Do you think royal wedding drunk calls for wine or tequila?
I ended up naked in a pond with you-know-who and your saying your a good babysitter? Dick.
I thought stuff was gonna go really bad after he filled the super-soaker with kerosene. but it all turned out pretty well.
I'm a little upset you wasted 3 beers on your wet tee shirt contest.
I will always remember today as the day I narrowly escaped having to touch a tiny penis
Look. If you're going to be my girlfriend you need to be down with me licking BBQ off your face infront of kids.
He called me twice and texted me at 3am. Guess absence makes the dick grow harder.
Holy sore nipples Batman
There is nothing wrong with watching parks and rec all day then getting blackout drunk by night
Do you really want to know anything about the inner machinations of a furry's mind
found a note from drunk me saying "don't worry i fed the mice". WHAT MICE?
Randomize
