I hope my future cuntsucker is that tight
so i was supposed to be to work at 8..but its 9:15 and im currently standing stoned in the middle of holiday...with a bag with three doughnuts, two redbulls, and a slim jim..
god i miss watching you do this...
dude you made out with his girlfriend and stole his credit card to buy more drinks
well when you put it that way, I sound like a terrible person
I'm thinking of writing "I have herpes" on my stomach in sharpie that way I'm not tempted to show my tits tonight
He just made me a heart out of cocaine... i think i'm in love
we kept pushing you at the prospective students saying go for it, itll make them want to come here
you kept yelling THIS ONES FOR THE ADMISSIONS OFFICE and then youd go in for the kill
I know for sure he's a bro because he closed the door so my gf didn't see me hooking up with her cousin.
It's a lightpost hitting you in the head. Of course it's going to hurt the day after.
Hes a nice guy and all but I'm only interested in his drunken alter ego.
maybe these stereotypes wouldn't come up if you would stop taking body shots off another
I am having the most awesome nonsexual conversation about my vagina right now
Who knew wearing a toga outside would provide for and infinite amount of dick to choose fron
It's not above me to sleep with him solely for his authentic budweiser shirt
Still alive. Just brushed my teeth with fireball.
Got everyone out of my house, somehow managed to put all my lawn furniture back, puked in my sink, and cleaned it up all while black out drunk before my parents came home. Successful night.
Randomize
