So I think we're almost at the age where we should start calling boys men. Now what age do they start living up to the new title?
Most never. Some around 65.
Locked out of the apartment with just a box of wine way to begin the weekend.
She told you broke her computer after the little square in tetris wouldn't rotate for you...
Princesses don't give blow jobs
Who would win... a chainsaw pooping pterodactyl or a bear with machine guns for feet. big debate about this right now
I'll call it a relationship when I stop masturbating after he goes to sleep
I don't go on dates. I watch tv and play with dicks. dinner is a situation.
Vodka shot parachutes
Fucking utilizing a thrid story dorm room
You should be proud. How many people can say they GAVE a stripper an std?
I cant shower it involves moving...
Just lay there and turn the water on. At least rinse off the shame.
I need to stop going to bars and yelling "I could be teaching your kids one day, bitches!"
Yeah I don't remember how I got home last night
Judging from my pants, I embarrassed myself smh
I am in serious pain and you're making dick jokes. I hope you wind up with crotch rot.
Please don't finger me like a jackhammer. I'm a woman not a construction site.
Let me set the mood for you. Do you remember Britney Spears in her Hit Me Baby One More Time era? Well I just fucked this college girl I shit you not her name is Persephone and she looks exactly like Britney Spears back when she was hot. I might be in love.
Randomize
