Just because i have a masturbation problem doesnt mean you can put 20 photos of Jesus in my room.
Can we fast forward to the part where we get gyros
I was fucking the girl and her best friend walked in on us. She said we looked thirsty, got us a glass of water, and poured it down both of our throats. It was like... sex bottle service
I'm sure it was awkward. I've never had a professor expose parts of them to me before.
She gave us all a pep talk at the bus stop at 1 AM. It involved cupcakes and somehow ended with her making out with her best friend. God bless college.
Uhm; your sign says 'Welcome to KFC' and for some reason I can't seem to open the door.
And if I don't get arrested for drinking and canoeing over the next 3 days, this hurricane will not have turned out anywhere near as well as I planned
You called me at 3 am laughing like an idiot. Apparently you consider breaking out of the hospital to be a lifetime achievement.
We did hand stand push-ups while beer bonging. Its now a thing
Well to me, someone is not really my friend until we go to a mcdonalds drunk at 4am. It's like a right of passage
fond memories of taking my pregnancy test here in this Burger King
Dude respond to my evite. You're either coming to the orgy or not.
Is there a tactful way to ask "how are your balls?" Or do I just ask point blank
How high?! We watched paid programming for 45 minutes before we realized it wasn't just a long commercial. So pretty high. The Bionic fish finder looks promising, though.
Lets get a boat first.
Just found a pair of vomit-soaked socks in my purse, three days after the party... Now I know why my wallet was wet.
Randomize
