do you remember how we all fit in that bathtub?
tequila
I attract so much trash. The guy that is engaged and kissed me is here so is his fiancé. I feel likeshw knows and will cut me in the bathroom might happen. If I'm not at the pool tomorrow she has blonde hair and is really flat.
There's a "art of the blow job" class in the city. We should go
Baby, I'm all set with that. That would be like trying to teach bruce lee how to kick someone in the head
no where in the syllabus does it say "no alcoholic beverages allowed".
Just witnessed a circumcision at clinical. i suddenly feel a sense of reconciliation over every guy who's done me dirty...
I held his ankles while he hung off the top bunk attempting to get my pillow that fell off.
It's really funny to see the look on the sales lady's face when she asks why you're replacing a painting. "I knocked it off the wall during sex w/ my heels," wasn't what she expected.
Just used an eyelash curler to open my beer since I didn't have a bottle opener. Things are starting to look up.
I'm way too sober and people are way too heterosexual
Hey know anyone who wants 58 lbs of whole frozen chickens for a couple bowls?
lets face it, we have a liquor cabinet with a designated chocolate shelf
For the love of god, if any of you are up, bring me pants.
i told you i was taking the Metra Train, and you asked what type of drug that was.. so yes i believe you when you say you were fucked up
Dude someone puked in a bowl n put it in the fridge. I thought it was salsa! Who does that?
Today I saw someone riding a horse on the sidewalk by aldi when I went to walmart. Old town road was playing on the radio. It was perfect.
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