When I masturbate I pretend my dick is the slap chop an I'm destroying vegtables. Do you think that's a eating disorder?
Getting high on the stoop of a brownstone in the middle oh harlem. Doesn't get much more hey arnold than this.
his facial hair looked like he just ate out someone's ass
I got a lot accomplished today, and the day is still young! I built a fort, hot boxed a fort, had a tea party in a fort, and now realizing how high I am.
i knew she was desperate at the point in which she started showing me her naked pics on her phone
He walked into the party with a case on one shoulder and a boom box on the other of course I fucked him
just tell her a well fed dog doesnt stray far from the porch, and if that doesnt work just keep fucking her sisters
what's the name of that soccar player i bit again?
Just found a peacock feather in my car. Should I be the least bit concerned about this?
No. I'm too high for this. I gotta focus my mind for my future Hooter's interview
theres chocolate ground into my couch, nerds candy all over the floor and cocaine on every surface. great memorial day weekend and yours?
Im drinking ciroc out of an ice cream cone... my night is going fantastic
Until you have had Country Grammar stuck in your head whilst writing a Supreme Court brief you've never lived.
BILL GATES DONALD TRUMP LET ME IN NOW
Just smoked the bong while taking a dump. I love living by myself.
I just woke up drenched in beer, in a puddle of beer, and cuddling a bottle of tequila
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