The whole way homeyou were flapping your arms up and down, and when I asked why you said you were trying to tell Tony Danza about the angels.
but really, i care about skinny girls as much as michael vick cares about rotweilers
He taught me how to drive a stick by using his dick. He even made the whurrrr noise so I knew when to change gears.
I asked you how much you drank and you replied with "I don't know what kind of toothpaste I use."
Pissing in la rieve gfox. Jer zsyuis diu drunk but it felt amazunbg
Dans le librearie ivetre. Hjhaha
bong water from a few floors above me just splashed onto my face when i was looking out the window. Happy 4/21 to me
Ummm I just broke my no puke streak at church
What is the protocol for an "i'm sorry I had my ex retrieve me from the bar so I didn't drive drunk" blow job
He gave me four orgasms and I kept yelling "Thank you!" and he kept replying, "My pleasure!"
Midwestern nice.
Thanks for takin my cousin out last night, sorry I passed out so early
You kidding, the kids a legend. He literally killed a bottle of Jamison, made out with a girl AND her Mom at the bar, stole us slices of pizza and told the cab driver where to go in Spanish. He doesn't even live in the area. Can we keep him?
Nice. I like it when Maker's Mark makes decisions for you.
He got me off while watching hockey. He's a keeper.
I just want him to get into an accident where he's horribly disfigured but otherwise fine so he's not so freaking handsome
Uhm I have a bottle of tequila, a gallon of orange juice, and leggings. Now ask me again how hard im going? And that doesn't cover tomorrow.
She made me baby bird juul smoke to her while we were fucking
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