I had to get a ride home from that girl that slept with 3/4 of the band
Loo but I'm already drunk TINIGHT! CAPS ATTACK
everytime she opens her mouth i wish that i was deaf
dont touch anything in my room. If its phallus shaped, i can almost guarantee its been in my vagina.
Weer fine. went to buiy cigxs, but hes theonly one waering shoes. He caem out wti chicke fingers instead. whatecer, there th 8 dollar kind.
My entire summer has consisted of being too drunk for this shit, too sober for this shit, or too hungover for this shit.
Will it make you feel better if we wear the title of dysfunctional fucking roommates? It requires monogamy unless we want to bang someone together.
I was looking up travel destinations and somehow I ended up reading Paul's first letter to the Corinthians. I need to start going to church high...
Well I woke up and my arm was bleeding. And my blood is on the wall in the hallway.
Umm
No idea. I blame fireball.
Valid.
the guy I've been trying to get with saw my brother's genitals before he saw mine, so that's my life.
the moment when you open a dick pic with your mom in the car... On your moms phone... Of your dad... Scarred for life
he pulled my tampon string out with his teeth like a grenade pin yelling frag out! That's why I fuck guys back from deployment. They'll go the distance
Hypothetically speaking, at what point does fire become too much fire?
you do realize the next step is naked mud wrestling, right?
She is crazy bro, she'll kiss me after eating her ass but looses her fucking mind if I double dip a french fry in "our" ketchup!
Randomize
