You know you want to come over later
1:27a: Um no
1:45a: Maybe
2:05a: Probably
2:38a: I'm outside, let me in
i just wanna soil my oats bro
when we were having sex and i started crying and telling you i missed you..why couldnt you stop and tell me how you felt or make me feel better?you kept going...
I don't really want to write this paper. It's the last one of the semester - I need to savor the feeling of procrastination.
Nothing on google about my condom issue. However, if you get a chance google: condom with teeth.
Im coming down to miami this weekend
We shall drink from the everclear river
He handed me a temporary tattoo and said cover the hickey up with this
I think I fucked up my elbow when I tried to fight off the paramedics.
Just found the measuring tape in my bathroom. How drunk could I have possibly been on Saturday?!
Also, McDonald's breakfast is now 24/7. This is it. This is how I die. Face first in a pile of hashbrowns.
I just can't have sex in the car again. it's just too much
I just dropped a condom on the floor at costco in front of my girlfriend and her husband. Today is not going to go well.
Nana saw my nipple rings & made me watch Joel Osteen all morning
Got her pregnant in a minivan. Circle of life.
If everyone felt the happiness from apple crown royal we would be in a better place
Randomize
