Just tried on my bathing suit for the first time this year. Had to drink a beer to numb the pain.
He told me he loved me mid lick. Anyone that can look at me from that angle, lick my vagina, and say they love me must absolutely mean it
My niece just unknowingly cock blocked me. Obviously, someone won't be getting a christmas present this year.
remember that guy i blew in a bathroom in barcelona, i just blew him again in rome. lightning does strike twice.
Just cause I'm shitfaced wasted every night waking up in random beds all over Manhattan does not mean I'm a mess.
Truth. Respect the hustle.
My makeup looks extraordinary for nine tequila shots, running four blocks, falling asleep with my face in the toilet, and doing the walk of shame across campus in the rain. And to think I'm single.
Haha keeping the dream alive until Chinese New Year. I'm jobless with stitches in my face.
You called my nipples compassionate. What does that even mean?
I'm drawing the line at your vagina. I will not accompany you to get that pierced and/or tattooed. There's got to be some mystery to our relationship.
I am not exagerating when I say the thought "screw you future me" actually just went through my head
I have no idea what that means but I'm googling things just so I can watch my thumbs move
Out of curiosity, do you feel happiness for you, or sadness for ME, that you are the only one I drunk text?
She has dubbed herself the Pied Piper of Penis and keeps yelling about getting Cocktober started... Will send pix soon
I shaved my pussy for you. If you complain about a single hair that I missed again, you will be greeted by a bush the next time you go down on me and i will MAKE YOU KEEP GOING
Just remember, the Browns have more wins than Ronda Rousey this year.
Randomize
