Best part is I totaly had to get into my dads car like I didn't have my pants off two minutes ago.
is her vagina suppost to smell like dirty taco bell?
Glitter + Penis = Best. Idea. Ever.
dude, boobs are like the porridge in goldylocks
cliffnotes. writing studyguide on last pack of smokes. glad this semester is over.
Lmao the neighbor heard yall last night She wanted me to tell you way to finish strong
The entire defensive line took care if me when I passed out. One of them even held my hair when I puked and the other carried me upstairs to bed. God I love football so much more now
Given he decided my interview was a date, showed up drunk and insisted on carrying me everywhere, we weren't off to a good start.
I think my hookup is starting to fall for me. Time to break his heart.
40 year old guy made out with me last night while I had French fries in my mouth
We both know we're cheating on one another. But our side pieces aren't as kinky as us...so yeah, we're still together. This is a fucked up relationship.
I refuse to go to a doctor for a sex injury, not when I've come so far already
Aww his grandma died? That's sad! No mourning sex!!! That doesn't lead to good things!
I've decided I will have no shame for the things I don't remember doing.
His dick is social distance approved
Social distance approved?
big enough for me to fuck from six feet away
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