On friday while at the hotel bar by myself (creepy) I made friends w/ a millionaire who said he may be running for the position of mayor in richmond va (likely a lie). At one point during our discourse he asked if I was crazy. In the effort of full disclosure I looked him in the eye and said yes
I don't know what prompted his inquiry, clearly this man had impeccable intuition
the level of his annoyance + every insult he makes = the closer I am to telling him im fucking his ex
taking shots each time the weatherman says Dont go out in this blizzard
it's circumsized.
I think this conversation is over.
He just said he wasn't going to drink on Saturday because he was drinking on Thursday and Friday...we need new friends.
First off, get on bc solely in preperation for this event. Second, as my little sister you have a lot of whore to live up to.
by "whatever happens, happens" i meant "we are totally hooking up again on tuesday." i thought that was obvious.
Well call me tomorrow, it's a great story that may lead to me being fired and/or possibly being buried in a shallow grave somewhere out in wine country.
No man we're leaving now. The party will probably be busted soon. O and a bitch started throwing knives around the place, like real actual knives.
Jesus I should have learned from my first marriage not to get married again
I need dunkaroos back in my life.
You're right. Cause really... I'm in the back of his head. Even though what I said was better than "I have herpes"... I did once say that to him. So I'm like a reoccurring nightmare.
to be fair i didnt know she wanted to sleep with me
WHY THE FUCK ELSE WOULD SHE DRAG A STRAIGT MAN INTO A VICTORIA'S SECRET CHANGEROOM GODDAMMIT
The school better be open next year. I’ve been FB stalking Dads of my incoming students and there’s serious DILFage in this class! Maybe 2020 will turn around!
It’s 2020. You’ll probably get knocked up. If you’re really lucky you’ll just get the clap
Why can't he see that I don't want a slow getting to know you period? I just want to bone. NOW.
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