Exactly how deep of a burn should you have when you pee before becoming legitimately concerned?
And then she said we stopped for a train and i tried crawling out the back window.. again, i dont remember this.
you went around and groping mens pants to see "which was worthy" of you to go home with.
I'm stoned in an empty parking lot listening to dave matthews while looking for a lighter.... I feel like I sent this 7 years ago.
we bribed her with croutons and jello shots.
there is an extreme lack of margarita in my mouth.
The beer-amid has reached five feet. Caitlyn has a taser. GTG
I'll be on pinterest all night planning crafty things to do with my cats in 10 years.
ALWAYS CAPS LOCK. IS THERE EVER A SITUATION THAT DOES NOT CALL FOR CAPS LOCK? NO.
Sexting? Sexting in caps lock seems rather unnerving.
I WANT YOUR BODY AND I WANT IT NOW.
I rest my case.
Why am I the only one golf clapping for the vomiting girl on the train who just fell of her seat into her own vomit
If this nail lady pinches my achilles one more time im kicking her directly in her bedazzled boobs
He's not drinking on his 21st. Shooting vodka infused Nerf bullets at him would just make a mess and I don't want to be a creep and spike anything... I don't understand awkward boys
I was going to make you have an awkward boner around all your coworkers but then I fell asleep.
I'm playing trivia and drinking margaritas so now is not a good time.
Thanks a lot dude. I'm grateful to you for your gift of pure piss.
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