My sis friend said it was fake then described it as "scary"...greatest adj ever applied to my dick
She took off her pants and it was like seeing an old friend.
I can count the number of hours she's been sober this weekend on one hand.
Im watching him eat cream cheese and hot dog buns.
Hm, finding a time when my drinking and your real life don't conflict could be difficult
I paid your cover too so you're on the list as tits mcgee. You're welcome :D
i dont trust my judgment anymore so im only going to fuck guys who can donate blood at the red cross. they have standards.
I love her to death but its like you have to do 5 lines of coke to be on her level.
He sent me a picture; erect penis, cat in hand and no pants on. He got a boob pic for that one.
Totally. Bang on. He'll be fine. He might cry into your perfect tits once in a while, but that's the price ya pay.
Why does 2015 have to start with so many regrets?
My night has consisted of googling cat penises and creating a Tinder profile.
About to wash down a xan with an iced pumpkin spiced latte from starbs and I feel like I've never lived up to my stereotype so much at one time
They are in the bedroom next door. We might have a threesome idk. Jesus take the wheel.
GO. DO.
I am Jesus and I am taking the wheel.
As you were falling you yelled out, "save my burrito!" Priorities
Randomize
