He thanked me for being "his little blond pogo stick last night". Good thing?
Tell me the dirtiest joke you know
Sarah Palin
god, I love you
The bridesmaids just went smackdown on the floor, over the bouquet. I saw nipple. Best wedding ever
He was sitting on the bathroom floor, swirling his finger in the toilet singing the Laguna Beach theme song. I don't know whether to laugh or help him.
Why the hell did you smack that girls beer out of her hand at the end of the night then buy her a double jack and coke for?
Its called bad cop laid cop.
Hey have you ever thought about fishing cause I'd like to go fishing but don't know anyone that fishes and I'm gonna cry because. FISHING
hooking up with him was much more fun when i knew in the back of mind we'd get in some sort of trouble for it
I'm scared to touch anything in this apartment. Even the ceiling.
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU
MANY MANY THINGS AND MOST OF THEM ARE YOUR FUCKING FAULT
What is the acceptable way to offer a trade of sex for a few hours of body heat?
First Peyton Manning retires, and now the most interesting man in the world is retiring for Dos Equis. This is the worst week of my fucking life.
Russell is lonely. He needs a companion.
You're lucky you have a monster cock or most people may just laugh at your penis' nickname.
There’s a special place in hell for tall guys with small dicks
What's the blow job-backrub exchange rate these days? I've got some killer stress knots
He brought me another shot of rum, ice and my underwear when I woke up.
What a gentleman.
I KNOW, right?!
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