remember them days when you seriously wanted your mom to marry rev run and we would always talk shit about justine?
joeyyyy why you always taken cheeseburgers from me?!?!?!
I wish I could drop acid with the muppets
the pizza man had no reaction when jackie and me opened the door naked, i guess he's used to that shit
On the one year anniversary of me loosing my virginity... thousands of people will be taking their pants of on subways all around the world
It's like a tribute to you being a slut
His voice is like having sex with hot chocolate and then suddenly you're pregnant.
Half of my brain feels like I donated it to science and they basically just poured jack Daniels on it and put out cigarettes into it before returning it to my skull
Got home to the hotel 3hrs ago per texts sent not in english to not a full phone number
K, im gonna wait to get my dick pierced so we can do it as a family function.
You need to be full form and virile tomorrow so I can live vicariously through your rub and tug.
it's the amount of time you spend on preventing me from puking that really cements this friendship
I've been here 20 minutes and a sweaty naked man has kissed me on the cheek.
We were mid fuck, and he did a Kermit the Frog impression. Is it weird that I was strangely turned on?
She picked me up from the bar in her underwear.
I am buying anal lube, an enema, and a bag of kit kats. What part of this is compelling the Walgreens woman to tell me to "be well".
I'm no doctor but I don't think balls are supposed to look like that.
Randomize
