90% of the problems in your life are directly related to your vagina
I'm looking at pot farms on google earth. Google should be proud I found a real purpose for it to serve.
Between cock and motorcycle I'm glad I don't have to sit at work tomorrow
He looks like he has a penis
What the fuck
A good one, a good penis
you know, this Evan Williams whiskey isn't so bad when it's watered down a bit and you're home by yourself on a Saturday listening to Snoop Dog alone in your apartment without pants or any plans for your future...
I just found a casserole dish in my oven filled with broken glass, blood, and chopsticks. And the REALLY fucked up thing is that finding it answered more questions than it raised.
It's a delicate game of how much porn can I look at without the other interns noticing.
When my parents ask if I met any nice guys in California, I'm going to answer, "No, but I have gone home with alot of nice girls". Too much, too soon?
I feel like my stoner spirit animal is Janice from the muppets.
May the power of my ass compel you!!
just got a call from a life insurance sellsperson and apparently our xany dealer referenced us. not cool thats breaking the 4th wall
Note to Self: Never again eat a weed brownie by yourself two hours before a tornado warning in your exact location.
He just showed up at my house with a giant box of Trojans and a 6-pack of Yoohoo "for a special treat afterwards". I'm in love.
Plan before tomorrows interview: wash off green glitter from EVERYWHERE!!!
Would you say that skipping class and sitting alone in my room singing One Direction to myself and sobbing is an acceptable way to deal with the break-up
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