I just heard a woman call her child a butt face. Repeatedly. He's crying now. I love walmart.
You only like me because I'm a challenge
You already blew me
I did the seizure Bad Romance dance again last night, didn't I?
you were really good actually. your skill is increasing over time
The taxi driver was cool until you left. He then started blasting enya and telling me I look like I need another line.
no dude free pina colada`s taste like what I would expect my penis to taste like except gay-er.
The two girls sitting next to me are asking siri "Like, uh, how do you know my name?". Do I fuck with them or fuck them?
Hahahaha who is sleeping in the garage on our beer pong table?
When you say shenanigans does that mean I should bring birth control?
I feel like there is something fundamentally wrong with me as a woman. My initial text to you was "What's up, fuck bucket?"
I'm beginning to think that women just have dogs at home as an excuse to leave ASAP after hooking up, without sounding like a typical guy.
It has moved into the cliche "thin line between love and hate" real quick. With her. Not Taco Bell.
It's been awhile, you pregnant yet?
Only you could make a reflective vest look even remotely sexy
Oh. So it is a cult
Basically. But a nice cult. They eat muffins and talk about fundraising.
I was singing Colors of the Wind and swigging vodka and still felt like more of an adult.
Randomize
