Ever since he's come out, my facebook stalking experience has gotten uncomfortable
I just watched Jersey Shore so I would know what rock bottom was when I reach it.
so. which one of us is going to pay for the neighbors new window? it cracked when i threw the bottle at it but smashed when you threw yours.
I wasn't interested in him...but then he played The Office theme song on acoustic guitar. I'm sorry.
Being a responsible DD does not include attempting to coordinate a 4 taxi caravan to bar #3
She is feeding us popcorn out of her bra
Oh my god. I just RAN OVER a child. Oh my god this isnt my day. That kid was cool as fuck though
I am 100% planning on being drunk on Wednesday. This is America. Work or no work.
I just hit on a guy in a doughnut store... is that too suggestive?
Literally too hungover to clean. I'll get the frosting off the table tomorrow, ok?
I need to have sex. It's becoming like a matter of public safety.
I was so gone I thought the cops banging on my door were kids from the party trying to get into my room... needless to say, I started moaning louder so they would take the hint.
Please tell me those naked pics were not your mom. Lie if you have to.
Note to self:A blacklight toga party at a frat house is a bad idea. Some things cannot be unseen
The orgasm I got from him made me feel almost as good as I imagine the girls in the tampon commercials feel.
Randomize
