why did i wake up with a kid named Raphael in my bed this morning?
I dont know but you did call last night to tell me you found the last ninja turtle
Deadliest Catch is NOT foreplay
We walked because you started screaming when you finally realized he wasn't Ben Bailey and it wasn't the Cash Cab.
I actually had no interest in him until he started talking about his 4 arrests. That made him go from a 5 1/2 to a 8, easily.
Any parent would be proud to have a daughter that's a blowjob fairy
You're so wise. You're like my sexual Grandmother Willow.
Its great. Every time she starts barking i know ive got approximately 37 seconds to hide my gf in the closet and throw some clothes on
My roommate made me a peanut butter and sprinkles sandwich. Maybe tonight isn't that bad
$100 bras are my way of telling my boobs that I love and appreciate them, and all the metaphorical doors they have opened for me.
YOU KNOW BRAZILIAN BOYS ARE MY WEAKNESS
I also slapped not one but two bananas on the ass, twerked in public, and I think I made out with someone
Hurry up I'm getting mooned by a hobo
I woke up in an ill fitting childs tutu this morning and the shower curtain is knocked down. Wtf happened?
Is it bad I use my AA meeting to hookup with guys?
It's obvious you're hotter. You've been doing a married guy for almost 2 years.
Randomize
