yo - did your mom get a boob job (I think she did)
If Ritalin and Plan B had an illegitimate child it would smell like me.
the real housewives of new jersey finale is tonight. it makes me wish we had pot.
and i looked up. we had an audience...
if we break up, who will get the dealer?
no, literally. he fb chatted me and said "since you're online i figured we could bang tonight?"
so I woke up without pants, but my cardigan was still on and fully buttoned. curious.
Y'know, "Class cancelled because Professor is stuck in Mexico," is not something I expected in college. Let alone, "Professor is stuck in Mexico, AGAIN."
I'm so bored right now i'm literally Googleing all the possible ways to get high with household items as my mom is sitting in front of me..
I cant shower it involves moving...
Just lay there and turn the water on. At least rinse off the shame.
Nothing quite like pre-gaming the Kentucky Derby with adderall and adderall. I'm fairly confident I could outrun all of these fucking horses in a foot race right now.
I found out his moms name, maiden name, profession, and office location, his dads name and profession, his home phone, picture of their house, all of his work profiles, and the cost of their house. All I'm trying to do is find his damn twitter
I was so high I didn't realize I'd put on someone else's bra. I thought my boobs had shrunk.
Your english degree would kill itself if it could read that text.
maybe a couloe typos.. noooooooooo big deal
His mom came while we were asleep naked and started asking me about my plans after high school... Is that even a thing.
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