He belongs with you like a mcdonalds playground belongs in Chernobyl
I feel like i'm in "To Catch a Predator - The Musical"
Before he took off his pants he paused and said, "Remember..sometimes great things come in small packages."
I have no idea. Next thing I know we're all down on one knee saying the pledge of allegiance and then singing I'm Proud to be an American. Then Trevor ate pizza off the sidewalk.
she gave me her number. found out it was already stored in my phone as "bathroom blowjob"
He's cheating on his wife, and he's judging me for eating McDonalds
Change of plans. Theres a bouncy castle setup in my apartment complex.
Me and him getting it in is for special occasions only. Like Christmas and when they bring the McRib back.
Invite that kid who wants to become a priest. I WANT ON.
Making a me burrito to ward off the cold...and the aloneness of my vagina
A few days ago I apparently came up, asked her to make me soup, and handed her a can of coconut milk.
Honestly I'm not even that excited to see my boyfriend. I'm more excited to see his penis. His penis inside of me.
There was this blissful moment of peace and quiet... then you ran past our window with a lit firecracker in hand going, "SHIT. SHIT. SHIT!"
I dunno that I'd be trusting enough of junkyard tequila to drink it.
I swear my vagina needs to be taken away from me when I drink.
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