then he goes, "ok, i have to go talk to the girl i'm semi-talking to/dating and see if i'm in trouble" WHAT IS MY LIFE?!
Some man just said he would jack off to my hair color.
turns out the website for Dick's Sporting goods is not "dicks.com". It was a win either way.
In America we eat man semen.
I just saw him at the bookstore and all I could think about was him licking your ass
Ya I fucked her.. But now Melissa is gonna find out
Just tell her that in a man's never ending war between his heart and his dick... His heart never wins
He invited you over for Super Sexy Saturday and Cosmos... I'm pretty sure that's gay
She carries a brick in her purse. I wouldn't get in a fight with her
Do you knowwwwww you never ha to pee while lhr on eztacy
Her dad high fived me on the way out the door. Not the reaction i expected after she came so loud.
Its not even real halloween yet. This extremely toxic yet briliant costume is going to kill me
Hey, so, you were my "one phone call" last night... Thanks for not picking up. See, this is why I never call you.
Thats alot of pressure.
Just on your vagina. BTW I'm passing your house.
What do I do with all this pork broth? I can't waste it.
CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG
hold on i need to sex proof my eyelashes. thank godd for waterproof mascara
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