Could you please tell me why If you were a 21 year old man why you would want to sleep with a girl who has tinkerbell bedding?
also i tucked his toothbrush in my shirt. why? i dont know.
she wants me to meet her parents and she hasn't even met my penis yet.
Do you not remember you showing everyone in the bathroom your period stained underwear? I'd say you were pretty happy it came
judging by the cake all over the hall, my neighbors had a pretty successful thursday too.
I just hit the bong during the whole bday song then blew the candles out with my exhale.
Unless you can blow me and bake me a pie at the same time, im not impressed.
Is it inception if it feels like another uterus is going to burst out of my current uterus?
my ass is still wet. this is highly unpleasant. give me 5 to get changed and I'm all yours. or you can yell things to me while I shower and burn clothes
How the fuck did we end up at a strip club last night.. We started the night playing bingo at a church
I got with a bridesmaid and a server as well as put an $80 tab in rum and coke under the name Emerson Iglesias. Are you sure it wasn't my wedding?
And you know what the worst part is? Because of him I can now relate to a goddamn Taylor Swift song. FUCK. MY. LIFE.
I just found three upside down bottles of grapejuice in a triangle around the air freshener above my toilet... I guess it was one of those nights
Social anxiety problems: I just had to get up and change stalls mid-poop because someone sat down in the one next to mine.
thank you for being so understanding of my weak stomach and poor self-control
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