It's just you. You wear the fuck me fedora and wear baller shorts, hollywood hippie who thinks she is shakira when she's drunk.
So I pulled my t-shirt down, pushed my boobs up and marched right into that church!
I've blown a few things in my day
Walked home this morning with my contacts in a shot glass.
First class.
Somewhere in this world my second husband is in 9th grade.
please stop referring to my baby as "your little fucker"
shes got that 'its my party i can do meth if i want to' mentality. i like that.
the only two hours i was sober on this trip and i managed to break my toe. no one will believe this.
Hey, I'm making progress. I haven't thrown up in a bar while wearing a sweater vest in almost two months.
You were cuddling with an eight iron and I was eating a fajita completely ignoring your presence.
Just checking to make sure you weren't kidnapped, pregnant or watching Fox News.
You told your family you're bi over the phone?!
We were talking about exes and it just came out....and so did I.
Ate 5 hotdogs today. You need to get me back on my tequila diet cause this shit has to stop!
He still want's to kick my ass for fucking his sister, probably a bad idea to leave the bar with his ex...
He did a backflip because drugs
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