if you come down to my room ill tell you a secret
There was a ginger baby in the car next to me. I almost totaled my car into the center divide.
I tried to assassinate the ginger baby
You know the @ sign on twitter? i wish there was one of those in real life so that the smokin' hot guy at the bar would know the slutty unbuttoning of my shirt was directed @ him, not @ his friend who looks like Mickey Rourke post-face melting
Met some locals. They are taking me to a place where there is topless bullriding. I love this country.
It wasn't until i was on my knees with three dicks in my face that i thought it might be a bad idea
in my lab write-up should i mention that i watered my plant with tequila?
making my second box of kraft dinner for the day. thinking about telling him how much you cheat on him so that you end up having to spend valentines day with me. i'm sorry its every man for himself.
Just started taking liver support pills. Welcome to Senior year.
after that, he'll be sure to remember me. i'll probably forget him, but that's the way it should be.
If I had to give her an idea on what it means to be ur date I would compare it to being Ralph macchio's gf in the first karate kid... That's one of the coolest things I've ever said... I love drugs.
A white limo full of drunken 30 something business people pulls up next to me and asks if they can kidnap me until 1030. If I don't make it back tonight, call someone and tell them I died gloriously
Passed out on the bench in the men's bathroom. Feel much better now.
When he couldn't get it up, he handed me a beer, put his clothes back on, and said "try again tomorrow."
Just sent a dick pic to ur girl. It was accident. Plz mail it to Gena.
Come to my place after work and we can discuss our finances over a coors delight and a fire ball shot
Randomize
