Someone took a freaking dump on a roll of toilet paper. Next to the toilet. No shit in the toilet. Just on the roll of toilet paper.
If I'm having a dream where I'm having sex and I can actually feel it between my legs because I've had a lot of it recently, does that make me a whore?
I have a feeling this is a serious question. Problem solve, Jess.. I'm going to let you figure that one out on your own
Oh yes. The girl who wanted me to watch her pee.
There's a walmart bag of my vomit outside my front door. I just really need someone to appreciate that with me.
all ten of us were sitting in his room with the lights off and staring at his colorful moving screensaver for two hours. That high.
Just picture a dyson vacuum with razor blades. That's how it felt.
i think my love is proven by the fact that i still want to have sex with you after this conversation
putting weed in the twinkies box was possibly the best idea you've ever had
Wondering when "babysitting" formed into "sleeping on the couch for five hours nursing a hangover and giving the kids Nyquil."
They play video games, go on acid trips, and in times of need, are willing to donate plasma together. COUPLE OF THE YEAR.
I NEED to see if his girl has a sister.
Well THAT'S the last time I buy beer and baby wipes in the same Walmart run ... just wanted to shout I USE THEM TO REMOVE MY MAKEUP, YOU ASSHOLES
If you gave someone an std. would you say a muffin basket, a candy gram or an edible arrangement is a better choice to send them?
He's petting your head, we need to leave now.
just had sex in a stairwell with six feet five inches worth of drama
What?? I could've slept with an ordained minister!
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