I am currently prioritizing my hw by splitting into things i can and things i cant do drunk. Oh college
do you think having her use a clorox disinfecting wipe on her vagina will keep me from getting her herpes if I don't have a condom?
Sitting here wishing there were men in my life.
me too. too bad ive decided to fill that hole with cookie dough, closing the door to future men one fat cell at a time.
I have no idea. I woke up naked on someones toilet locked in the bathroom with two baby kittens.
The liquor store wont accept checks from us anymore.
I swear I only do things like fuck 19 yr olds just to hear how you laugh when I tell you.
Just because Aaron is a gender neutral name does not mean I am letting you name your baby after a drug dealer
She just had to change the song on the radio cause I was tap dancing on her windshield
You didn't hold all these dicks to become a party planner!
Sometimes I get in situations where I realize they think I'm smarter than I am and then it's just one more thing I have to fake.
I'm about to be a big disappointment.
He threw up on my head while I was blowing him, and then I started barfing, and the kitchen floor was a mess. Believe me, he will never, ever live this down.
And I made some girl take out the trash, load and unload the dishwasher, swifter, and clean the counters. So don't act like I don't do anything.
I mean...he danced with his dick still inside of me. What more could a girl ask for?
i stood outside in the bushes for thirty minutes. Do you know how many drunk guys pee in bushes at 2 am?
Based on the conversation I'm going to assume you didn't close the deal.
It started going awry when I fell through a roof.
Randomize
