Believe it's possible to jerk off while watching the food network.
it was 6 in the morning, and you cried until i put mulan in. then you proceeded to say every word, not to mention sing along... stop drinking.
it was really bad. he went around saying "I want you inside of me" to everyone.
Condom broke. Took her to CVS for plan B and parked in expectant mothers spot. I laughed.. she cried
I hope so. I just start to question my lifestyle when i pee on coffee tables
If a young child walked up to you and grabbed your penis, you'd feel violated too.
I took us ten minutes to realize the shower sex going upstairs was the reason the kitchen ceiling was flooding.
Its official. I've reentered slutty territory. I was a condom away from having sex in a childs playhouse at a park. Oh and I lost my car keys.
I told you, we're just gonna get ripped and light sparklers
Mike found the condom wrapper on the washing machine and looked at me and said "Magnum? NICE girl. Get that nut!" then proceeded to puke in a cup
Woke up with two different flip flops on sum burnt at the beach. Who are these French kids plz come back
I have a high opinion of you, you smash bitches. Respect.
I told him we could fuck whenever was concurrent for both of us
Baruch atah adonai DAT ASS DOE
Sorry, I gave half my brain to my thesis and the other half to mdma
Randomize
