I had to get a ride home from that girl that slept with 3/4 of the band
you would have Pina Colada flavored saliva.
This is a mass text. Does anyone know where I am?
Hopefully the semester will be over before she has a breakout. Then I can just avoid the situation entirely
It's going to be great. They guy at the store said 3 shots and you won't be able to feel your face or stop smiling.
We should never set our expectations higher than pizza bagels cause then our night is bound to get better
it's pretty bad when you go in bed bath and beyond and recognize 6 different bed spreads you've had sex on
He walked me home last night across campus while i fed him pasta out of a solo cup at 3 am.
The next time i black out make sure i remove the ping pong balls from my weave. Especially before my first day of classes.
Dude between pissing everywhere and all of those frogs, that bathroom got wrecked.
Got home last night and found a Big Mac in the shower, tampons all over the place, and two pairs of your panties on the front porch.
Wanna smoke some ancient weed I just found in a box of cake mix?
You randomly sent me a black Santa Claus emoji at 2am. I think alcohol was involved.
Only in the emergency room do they shut the door when youre laughing too hard
Can I come over?
Sorry I gave up dick for lent. Hit me up on Good Friday tho
Randomize
