jackpot. dress really slutty so he knows you mean business
Do you ever close your eyes when your having sex with your girlfriend and pretend she didn't get fat after high school?
I am tired of kissing girls with mustaches.
You know when its a good night when you have to be reminded IHOP is a family establishment.
You got my ass fired just for knowing you
thanks for the bacon
he kept whispering yes yes yes yes the entire 15 minutes. i almost wish it was a quickie.
Nothing on google about my condom issue. However, if you get a chance google: condom with teeth.
I told him I'd have sex with him for fried cheese. Does that make me a hooker or just fat?
It wouldn't have been a big thing. If anything, I woulda apologized to you and cleaned the remote
The forest. Magic mushrooms. Wind trees leaves sky. That is alll.
you kept introducing yourself to guys as "never going to happen"
All you had to say was "damn dude that looks fun, I miss ice fishing." But you sent a picture of poop. Classy
I've started budgeting for next year. It looks like I'll be crying tears of dollar bills and handing them over to pay back my unholy college debt.
Like how hard is it to come up to me with chocolate and wine and say "hey, you're beautiful. Wanna marathon Doctor Who in sweatpants?" Hell yes!
I just got called the stable friend. This makes me super uncomfortable
I'm glad you found someone that both loves you and is cool doing coke off your tits. Proud of you.
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