After I tried for five minutes to hang my beer from the coat hanger in the bathroom , I have realized I am drunk
he ate out my asshole, i really don't think he gets embarrassed easily.
Somehow he came on his own face...then he freaked out
He's playing farmville on his phone while puking over the toilet..
He started to notice that i sleep with every girl he calls dibs on.
2 more and I will have fucked 75 percent of my acting class. best. elective. ever.
Just you wait I'll be crying and puking everywhere in no time
how are you shocked you fucked her? sure shes hot, but she also washed your beerpong balls in her mouth..... you should probably get tested.
And that kids is the last time I ever try to outdrink Germans
Drank your wedding present. Sorry
Well he wouldn't kiss me so I made out with a German girl, took a shot with my boss, and I think I sprained my ankle. It was a quiet Sunday for me.
It's a beautiful day to be high as fuck
He doesn't have an existential crisis after we have really violent sex now which is nice
Driving, getting head and talking to your boss on the phone is not a good combination. I nearly died
everything I love is going to destroy me, so if coconuts are the answer, so be it.
Randomize
