I have a walk of shame I should be getting to. "Hey, by the way, what is your name?" is not a conversation I want to have today
I'm about two and a half drinks away from gay.
I'm coming over.
Have you ever noticed that nowhere is the same thing as now here, i get my best ideas when i smoke
They had half off shots during the fourth quarter. I was powerless.
you were drinking a pitcher of what you called "16 loko" and making everybody guess what the secret ingredient was
All she does is lay in bed and watch golden girls and masturbate all day...
It's inspiring.
i'll just tell him I slept with them both because we needed to compare notes
I pretty much have hash tequila and gelato for dinner every night
I don't think he knows what shame means anymore. He gave some bar slut his sisters Tiffanys necklace, in exchange for anal.
Crazy how fast a room full of drunk teenagers sober up when someone breaks his parents' new flat screen
This is worse then when all the pharmacists sang me happy birthday while I was buying plan b
He's getting me an energy drink and said good morning beautiful. He must sense i'm cutting him off from the sex.
I'm sitting here with a heating pad and a fan on me eating snow caps off of my boobs
We couldnt find you anywhere and when you finally answered your phone all you said was "im safe"
What do you think would be the best way to remove a baby carrot from a vagina?
Randomize
