chick im bringing home just asked our cab driver if she could do a line off his turban. i think im in love - or trouble.
If you want her to think you're a true humanitarian, you may want to stop referring to Hands Across America as "the Ghostbusters 2 of fund raisers."
it's like heaven, but drunker
Oh and you pulled your pants down outside in front of like five people, held my hand, then peed.
Remember me drinking the vodka from in between your legs?
he fed me chocolate as I gave him a handjob. I felt like a princess.
Just a warning... Flip, sip, or strip always ends in all participants being naked. Learning from experience.
Ive done some fucked up shit, but last night was the first I have Poured milk on anothers mans face in the shower.
I LIKE NICE BOXERS OKAY!? COMBINED WITH A GLORIOUS DICK JUST MAKES THIS EVEN BETTER. WE MOVE IN TOGETHER AND THAT PIC'S GETTIN FUCKING FRAMED.
I asked him to explain what he meant by "hooking up" in paragraph form
I hope a pyrotechnic goes off in your asshole and seals it shut for life.
Me too.
Why did the sexual harassment class show a clip from frozen?
Tell me I'm drunk and you have to come get me. It's usually true. They'll believe you.
You told me you could hear my heartbeat through my penis but your methods were unethical.
Sixty five beats a minute. I stand by that.
You know that we wouldn’t even be talking about all this if you would have kept your candy consumption judgement comments to yourself.
Randomize
